for once, i am going to blog about np. i know im the most kaobei person in the entire squad and sorry i cant help it. it's just me that i show everything on my face/expressions/actions/behavior. i know whoever from np that get to read this(which is not many. only xinyue debbra and cher-e i guess) are going to shake their heads and go yahyah, you're full of excuses. but really. im just going to clearify afew things, since im so kaobei during np and seem to be unhappy about EVERYTHING about np, let me clearify that i do not think that way. first of all, i love my squadmates. ok, at least MOST of them. now i come for np for the sake of them only. and im proud of my squadmates who can do np things very well. be it drill or campcraft or firstaid. and respect their passion for np. because i dont have it. maybe the reason i dont like np is that i dont like it full of rules and punishments and 'respect' for seniors whom i think deserves none. and that every relationship, every action every move is so filled with pressure. maybe it's because im too much of a 'free' person, np is not fun to me at all. and in my concept a cca should be enjoyed. and it seems so inflexible and dead. everything so unreasonable. there was no fairness. and not even the questioning of fairness allowed. im sorry but i cannot stand nor can i survive in this kind of environment. therefore im sorry to the people whom i respect, care for, and love in np. our friendship will last forever. but im sorry that i will not, and will never plan to uphold your expectations for me to fulfill my responsibilities as a member of npcc. sorry for not having that passion. for disapointing you all. for not making it a point to change my opinions. if that offends anyone somehow, all i can say is sorry again. to np, it's only sorry.
sec4 life is sian. sian until i can find no topic to update you guys about. sian until want to die.
my daily routine after school is to go home, bath, sleep, wake up eat dinner, do homework, sleep, then wake up go school again zz. maybe i'll get depression if it goes on like this im going to wallow in self pity now bye >.
