so im sitting here for the one millionth time writing and hoping that i dont need to. but that will not happen. i dont break down in front of you. i cant afford to. i realise that im counting down to that day, when i'll leave, have to leave. and i just want to treasure every moment i have with you guys. every moment. i want it filled with laughter, fun, all the good memories, all that which can make up for that one whole year that i'll be missing. i cant imagine that social com which exists, and lives together happily ever after, without me. i just cant. i cant even face that uncertainty ahead, so dark and deep. but i do want you guys to be happy, to feel that bond that i feel, to love like i do. well maybe the pure existence of me is a contradiction.
