>if dreams were ever true

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

2:12 PM

what the !#$$%^&$%
if you ever go out with me and i tell you i want to eat mos burger please slap me one thousand times as hard as possible until i die also never mind

BECAUSE
I
NEVER
EVER
EVER
EVER!
WILL
EAT
THAT
AGAIN
FOR
THE
REST
OF
MY
BLOODY
LIFE
!

u know the feeling of standing/walking around that stupiddddd area for like 4 to 6hours without taking a drink and watching ur own lips go dry bit by bit feeling like fainting but cant do a fuck about it
and get ordered/scolded by ur ever !#^$#&^%* boss [manager] for not knowing anything?!
like a fuckkkkk offffff la im just there for like twoooooo fucking days cannn!

grrrrrrrr!

ohman.
if i ever splurge with my money,
murder me.

provided of course
that it's MY money and not my mom's

heh.

ohyes by the way
happie birthday to my tall daddie mr bernardlippppp who can finally step into NC16 movies legally now :D
though he's not a good daddie but im a good daughter so heh :D

and of course to my dearest bimbo lamemilyyyyy for turning 15
&FINALLY GOING TO MAKE IC
[phew. so that she can stop nagging the world about it. wipes sweat]
and for just being a bimbo
to show that i am not bimbo after all
muahahaha :DDDD

okok
happie birthdaeeeee people :D

<3

Sunday, May 28, 2006

9:04 PM

one word, fun!

yesyes fine fine i admit that bball is fun

anyways
today went play bball with guansen fongyee stanley siongwei jianming
at first it was raining
but later the heavens see ME want to play bball so it stopped raining :P
okok i'll stop it

heh must thank my great shifu mr coach kewguansen today!
cos i've got many many many shots
i think my whole life also not so many shots
fine lar im lousy lar
as compared to those pple mentioned above
but cannot compare liddat mah!

heehee

ilovebball!

okie, first it's bowling,
now it's bball
wow xiaoxi is pro! :DDDD

Saturday, May 27, 2006

7:56 PM

happy holidays people! :D

i have two things to announce
two things that are proud to be announced heehee:

1. i found a holiday job! :D
jurong point mos burger
4pm to 8pm
to those who read this,
u better come and support me
i know who you are
cos not many pple know this place hor
muahaha :D

2. i did homework today! :D
thank you thank you
i know i know
but it's real :D
considering the fact that ME will ever do homework on the first day of holidays
are you feeling guilty now?
heeheehee.

but of course
at the same time there's bad news too

1. im broke for the holidays
quite [erm] normal lar actually
that's why go and work la right
heh for the moment can go gop from mummy :D

2. down with a flu
think i can use up 100sheets of tissue in 2hours
wuahaha
skipped promo
but seriously honestly
i dont care
shorry. but yea. that's all i can say.

ohwell
planning an organised holiday ahead
but first gotta organise my table >.<

heh
happie holidays again :D

Saturday, May 20, 2006

7:28 PM

i love mrlim :DD
he'd decided that my history essay did not contradict itself in the end &gave me a B4 :D
ohwell not that B4 is very good or what
but it's definately better than C6 right? :D

today supposed to go np flagday de
then i overslept ._.
until mr oh &fangyi called and woke me up
then it's like
too late liao lar
must well not go at all
sorry guys :
orhwell,
life is good! :D

Friday, May 19, 2006

8:44 PM

"so it's this easy when u get down to it."

and yes. it is.

forget people! forget what u're supposed to
i know it can be hard
really hard
but no, it's not that hard actually
im not being ironic here
it's okie if it comes back to you from time to time
but the thing is
if you can forget about it from time to time as well,
you're close
like how u've hoped
tried
and achieved

(:

the past week's been alright
really alright
life is uninteresting but peaceful
but no disappointments
because of no expectations
it's not being pessimistic. nono.
it's just
trying to balance it out? :D
there's just so much to worry about if you're out there to worry
but similarly
when u dont, u dont.

placing hopes above reality
isn't that we're all living at?
a life without hope could be the worst form of livelihood and u dont expect anything from that
so we dont live with that
but placing hopes too high above reality only brings the clashing harsh truth and disappointment
let's not live with that too

so i was saying
this week's been alright :D
im catching up with homework!
aye that's something celebrative okie :P
&failed the theory part of the promo
I PREDICT >.<
and usually it's accurate kae
DONT ASK ME WHY I FAILED/DIDNT STUDY
i studied more than i ever did for np already
&with somebody telling me not to study,
it's counted as an achievement already kae! :D

holiday's coming people! :D
plan it for the last week of school ahead!

&2B outing's less than a month away :DDDD

Sunday, May 14, 2006

10:35 PM

looking at the state of my desk
remembering how much homework i've forgotten
preparing for the campaign speech
writing the pen portrait
studying for the theory test

let's only say
it's anew

if there's none,
create.

hello tomorrow :D

Friday, May 12, 2006

9:42 PM

we can talk about anything, anything except what we are most deeply ashamed of. Other emotions, even the difficult ones, can be shared with others and brought into the open, but not shame. that's part of its nature. shame is our deepest, darkest secret, its very secrecy a form of punishment

guilt and shame are intertwined. it's a common enough occurrence, but it doesn't have to be like that. the failing was betryal. everything we've done for the past years has been an attempt to atone for our cowardice

now it's biding its time
hollowing us all out

dont let it

today went to emilee's house :D
watched aeon flux again while explaining the storyline to those noobs :D
i love explaining it lar actually cos the story's so nice!
just that u cannot fall asleep while watching [listening to me explain] like what my mom did
like a what can i say other that 'generation gap'?
sigh

and FEARLESS is a damn darn fucking good show :DDDD
ohman i cried at the end of it when he died
why do the good pple always have to die? ):
and i cant say i hate japanese cos there's this good japanese guy
okie let's just say that i hate fat guys now

:D

save up save up!
i want that bag! :D

thank you emi qimin rene kiat
it's been a long time since i've laughed my heart out like that
though u are a bunch of assholes lar
but i love u all :D

<3

Thursday, May 11, 2006

8:25 PM

something gotta be wrong with me nowadays
like i dont care what others think of me anymore
i dont have as much passion for things as before
i stop ap-ing people as often as before [this is TRUE okie. if u still find me ap-ing u it means that something is wrong with YOU. not me]
i dont feel as much when something crash up like how i used to
i just dunno what happened to me

&i feel sick
whenever i swallow something down my throat there's this sharp pain down the darn gullet
so in order to kill that sensation we need some extreme temperatures huh
after a bowl of burning hot laksa and chilly icy lime in the coke
here comes my dear old friend by the name of gastric pain
moral of the story: laksa and coke dont mix well in ur stomach
whatthehell

when the history paper came back
i was in this state of shock that for a moment i didnt know what to do
didnt dare to look up and see the histoy teacher's disappointed eyes
i know
even i cant forgive myself
i dont expect you to do that then

what the fuck is wrong with me?

numb with all

the flunked papers coming back one by one

the coming promo which i know i should pass but brain is too empty to be considered prepared
worse still, dont feel like studying
and dont mind failing
sorry debbra. i'll try. but maybe not my best

the council election
the first time im feeling so numb with it
seriously
first time in the 3years that i feel it's okie even if im out
first time i feel so burnt out of passion
first time i feel that i can live without social

sorry to say that
but. yea

pretence

so fake but so real

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

10:19 AM

here sits the anti-social who's happily [orh well, not exactly happie but] typing away knowing that she's not going to the class outing later &who's decided that she's gonna rot the world away though she knows that she's gonna be super bored later and going to rant to whoever that she grasps

ahaha

that's me yes :D

yesterday was
hmm
what can u say when the world expects so high of u?
honoured?
pressured?
what do u do when u feel like giving it all up even though u know that u can?
pick urself up again?
let it go?

what happens when u know that u're not the 'you' whom u use to be anymore?
what happens when u change till u dont even recognise urself?
what happens when u miss that laughter that u use to have around u?
what happens when u realise that when u're down, there're no longer concerned voices around?
what happens when u lost something, and then u began to realise how precious it was to u?

what happens?

okie
so im missing 2B again

cant help it

suddenly everyone seems so nice/familiar/not irritating unlike before
i guess that's what happens when u miss someone
remembering only the good and forgetting the existence of the bad

and one thing i know
and am sorry to say but
if this were to be 2B outing
i'll throw my life around and still go

will i ever feel that way for 3D?
will i?

will they?

edit/

life as an ENFP
(extravert, intuitive, feeler, perceiver)

people of this type tend to be:

enthusiastic, talkative, and outgoing; clever, curious, and playful; deeply caring, sensitive, and gentle; highly innovative, creative, optimistic, and unique; adaptable and resourceful but sometimes disorganized
the most important thing to ENFPs is freedom to see possibilities, make connections, and be with a variety of people

is that me?

hmm

Sunday, May 07, 2006

8:18 PM

i just read this and then went lol:
guy A: how do you teach a girl to swim?
guy B: first, u hold her by her waist, then u take her right hand..
guy A: huh? but she's my sister leh!
guy B: orh. then just push her into the pool can already lah.

lmao
tsktsk guys are such meanasses :D

today i:
went to church
wore a big baggy green pants and everyone called me Aladin
went to pizzahut for lunch :D
slept for 3hours
woke up and ate dinner

then here i am sitting infront of the computer and blogging about my meaningful day while worrying about my promo test which is like in two days time
seriously i think im gonna fail
so why worry? heh :D

sometimes its a choice
sometimes its not

[edit]

erms im doing this because i:
went to jolene's blog
am bored and have nothing better to do

so here it goes:

INSTRUCTIONS

1. The tagged victim has to come up with8 different points of his/her perfect lover
2. Mention the gender of his/her perfect lover
3. Tag 8 victims to join this game and leave a comment at their blogs
4. If you are tagged the second time, there is no need to do this AGAIN
5. The most impt rule: have fun doing it

8 different points of his/her perfect lover

#01 i agree with someone that nobody is perfect lar huh so the first point is that he must not be perfect. since im not perfect too so if he's perfect then i'll feel intimidated :D

#02 able to put up with my moodswing [okie lah i'll try my best to change but >.<]

#03 can make me laugh. which is not very difficult lar actually :D

#04 understands me and let me understand him too

#05 trusts me and gives me a reason to trust him as well

#06 tall. heh :D

#07 gives me my breathing space. has a life of his own too

#08 cares for me and allows me to care for him too :)

gender of his/her perfect lover

ERMS. what a clever question.

tag 8 victims to join this game and leave a comment at their blogs

heh im nice so i wont tag &irritate pple.

MAYBE :D

Saturday, May 06, 2006

9:41 PM

dont you just hate ur sister who keeps shouting and screaming her [ur] head off when all u're trying to get is just some peaceful sleep in the car?
i love her when she's sleeping
only.

anyways
the past week's been
hmm
rather ~~peacful~~ i guess
orh well maybe not
with all the papers coming back
seeing everyone moodswinging/crying/laughing/going insane
and the shouting and screaming the juniors ur heads off
preparing to take over as seniors
or trying to study for ur coming promotion test,
rememberng the fact that ur midyears are just over
tsk mygosh how humane can the world get?!

AND.
i just dont get it
why is it that i cant do well in sciences?
what's the bloody use of getting high scores in both ur language papers when afterall u only need one of them for ur L1 and flunking the rest of the R bloody 5?!
there's just no justice in this world

and you.
i dont need you to tell me that
all im trying to do is to get away
from you
it's enough for me too
ive been bearing with it for too long
just give me some time to be over and done with it peacefully
that's all im asking for

pretend that u dont know anything
pretend that it's never happened before
pretend like how i am doing

is that very difficult?

i want u out and over with my life
just like how u want me to