>if dreams were ever true

Sunday, April 30, 2006

8:17 PM

WHATTHEFUCK LAR
i just typed a super long post then it's all gone can.
I HATE BLOGGER
RAH!

so i was saying ..
[this is so weird can. have to type everything again]

:
today me qimin emi shibin went shopping at bugis :DDDD
&did loads of spastic things
[heh. as usual]

so now me have new target le
THAT BAG
lols. should it be considered good or bad?
cos i've got an aim now
but i've got no money
>.<

like someone's nick suggest:
'unlimited wants. limited finances.'
rofl

&shibin aiming for this green-yellow adidas jacket now
it's nice lar
but the price also as nice
85BUCKS.
lol she either save till siao or kena scold till siao

emilee.
as usual lar keep looking at weird/spastic/kiddy things
now we all know what she likes: things with polkadots. lmao.

and qimin the pig keep complaining lar
'i want to sit down'
'i very tired'
'i yesterday sleep very late leh!'
'i want to go eat'
'aye faster leh we go sit down and eat!'
>.<

ahahas
i feel like a meanpok
but i dont care xp

&I DUN LIKE LOH CHER-E
wahlaos
stupid cher-e stupid stupid stupid !
RAH.

off to bomb his house

xp

Saturday, April 29, 2006

9:11 PM

rahahas i love the world cos i went shopping today <333
okie shopping rocks the socks of the world
even shopping without money :DDDD

so today me &fong went shopping after the !@#$% whatever symposium at dunno where
hehs okie lar actually it's not that bad
really gave me some ideas on what to plan for council CIP or stuff like that
i think it's the zhi2 ye4 bing4 of socialist or something
i'll just go and notice how pple organise/plan events and try to take back as many learning points as possible
orh wells :D

anyway the shopping was fun
though my button was gonna drop &had to wear fong's camp tee lols.
&now my debt to her is like becoming more and more!
dont worry fong i wont pay interests :D

saw quite alot of nice things
but the price was just as nice ._.
orh well

i want to go work &earn money!
so that i can buy:
1. mp3 player. RAH!
2. new pencil case [thanks to bernardlip there's this big hole on my pencilcase now]
3. new wallet
4. halter shirt
5. skirt! heh.
6. erm. birthday presents that i owe? oops.
7. those birthdays that are coming namely yitong ivan bernard emily. rah.

let's not list more shall we?
this is getting depressing
>.<

so,
i am going to work over the holidays
see my point now?

and.
promo is coming AGAIN
when will it stop haunting me?
im gonna explode soon rahrahrah.

an end marks a beginning
u dont know how and u dont need to
it happens all naturally
as long as u're willing to let it happen
but sometimes we dont really have much of choice do we?
we just have to let it happen
so cheer up pple
what's gotta come gotta come so all we can do is to smile and accept
give urself some time
it's not that hard :)

with love comes hate
with hate comes hurt
with hurt comes protection
with protection comes selfishness
with selfishness it's hard to find love again

dont protect urself too much
dont be afraid to lose
dont be afraid to feel hurt

it's all part of love :)

Friday, April 28, 2006

8:01 PM

dunno when was the last time i laughed until like that
it's the kind of laughter that only 2B will bring me :D
hahas guess that's why everyone's like 'xiaoxi why u so fierce and so moody ever since sec three arh? even become vulgar!'
because there is no more twoB

today went out with jo shibin emilee kiat and janice-the-tag-along lol
&i reali laugh until like
PENG.

:DDDD

we laugh until the KFC auntie come and kaobei us can
say what we spoil the table
then later say we dirty the chair
then come and wipe the table until all the whipped potato fly everywhere >.<

but it was reali fun lar
we ~~did~~ talked about alot of stupid things
especially with emilee around
i think u get me :D

ahahas
sunday we're going out again! :DDDD

midyears.
heck.
i dowan think about it
flunk then flunk (x

it's the beginning.

(:

Sunday, April 23, 2006

10:30 PM

okie

maybe i shall stop ranting

going to get a life.

9:27 PM

somewhere in the middle of day when u're mugging like hell
then ur parents came to u and stop u
because ur phone bill came the previous night
and u've exceeded the number of sms that u're supposed to be sending
two of which u've sent to INDONESIA because of the stupid location of ur sec three advanture camp
and they start telling u about ur responsibilities to this house
to this family
to every single one of the members of this family
and then for that whole entire afternoon
u've been told to do chores to show ur care and concern and responsibilities to this house

and.
they now tell you to go and study because ur exams are here
how much of a mood-to-study would u have left?

im not trying to imply anything so stop infering

somehow
ive been persuaded

no matter what happens now ..

i shall
&i will

u know that u're the one that i've been waiting for.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

10:06 PM

YAYEE FINALLY THE END OF NPDP!
I LOVE THE WORLD!

:DDDD

orh well, its not that bad lar actually
just that it's quite sian to keep having trainings right?

anyway
it's over now and let's be happie about that :D

heh im feeling super whopper high i dunno why
im not supposed to feel high cos it's exam period
but i am :D

i think it's cos of the shuaiges i see recently

lol

nola not so wuliao
i dunno lar

im just a happie girl :D

ps: im beginnig to like jay chou!
ohmygosh shibin will be so high about this >.<

Friday, April 21, 2006

4:31 PM

ohman what's the world coming to?
why must all the shuaiges in the world be gays!
ohman ohman now there's less for us

>.<

arh well
geog was fine
chinese was not so well
i reali dunno what's wrong with me la
my chinese got an A2 leh
it's not that im complaining out of nothing or trying to be qianbian or anything
imagine you've been getting A1 for something for the whole of ur life
and then poof! gone.
what's MORE ironic is that my english's getting A2 too
&that day when carmentan walked pass me to wangyan (who just sits behind me) during IRP
she said 'wangyan get something english to read'
so me in front who was reading lianhezaobao was thinking 'my chinese very lousy meh'

:
okie maybe im too sensitive
but yes i am
rah.

gonna be a good girl for the next whole week

only next week (:

Saturday, April 15, 2006

5:37 PM

apart of me wants to stay there in my small world &accept nothing
&not expecting anyone to accept anything of me
when pple come
i open
when pple leave
i dont care
not 'dont care' as in not feeling anything
but as in, feel sad about it
but do nothing about it
i've always believed that was is yours is yours
if it were to leave,
it will leave no matter how hard u try to keep it

another part of me tells myself that i have to change
change for everyone
because the world doesnt spin around me
i know
i cannot be so selfish
keep disappointing the world

today when i was walking in the heavy rain
feeling the water drenching up every part of me
suddenly i feel that it's all clear
cleared

&i understood all that's happening
and i have grown

what's so important can actually be not important at all
if u think about it
if u dont mind everything that much
if u only care about what u care
u can dont care about what u care too
okie i know it's abit hard to understand
but that's what i felt

&now the rain has stopped
the sky is clear like it has never rained before
sometimes life is like that
it just strikes u at any moment of fortune or misfortune
when u look back &when u look forward
nothing is fair
but nobody promised anything isnt it?

i cant see a rainbow
there's not always a rainbow after the rain
at least
it's not seen by everyone
nono im not trying to be pessimistic here
im just trying to say that
if u cant see things going uphills after the deepest trench
it's okay
because it cant get worse already
isnt it?

Thursday, April 13, 2006

8:44 PM

warning: if u're already depressed/pissed/irritated/agitated/had enough for the day, it's advisable for u not to read this entry. we dont want another suicide case in the papers tomorrow and add on to the already-pathetic-enough-teenagers-nowadays-are-strawberries-statistics

okie so maybe it's not that exaggerating, but yea, somewhere there.

now let's all get some things straight okie

one. seniors are NOT always right. u dont get more respect simply because you are the senior of the school. u get the respect because u earned it. that's how it's suppose to work. if it's a whatever tradition for juniors to absolutely listen to their seniors regardless of whether they're right or wrong, it's the dumbest tradition that ive ever seen and it shouldnt be followed anymore. if you're wrong, you're wrong. u dont say something like, "oh my gosh how can u say this to him? he's a sec four leh!" SO? sec fours are only sec fours, they're not gods.
but of course, if u really deserve my respect, u'll get it no matter u're a sec four or sec three or sec two or sec one; whether u're six years old or in ur seventies. so get this clear: if u dont deserve it, i'll never give it to u.

you. u know what i'll do when i hate someone. so there, stop pushing me to my limits. i dont care what u're gonna say about me &it's not the point. i dont give a damn. so stop acting cute or innocent or enthusiastic or passionate and thinking that u're so very popular. u are not.

you. i've told u not to expect so much from me. it's really ur own business if u're so affected by whatever i do and say. u know how much stress u put on to me with that? if u're disappointed, i am SORRY. stop telling me how many billion pple in the world hate me and are cursing me to death. i dont care &i dont need them. all i want is to live in my own small &maybe AP world. u can just live with that or leave with that. im not going to kneel on the floor begging for anyone's stay.

you. give me a break. it's not my fault that they still consider to put me high although i 'didnt work hard for it'. whatever fuck la. nobody promised that the world's gonna be fair, so stop all ur stupid rubbish okie. u dont hate somebody simply because they dont have the same priorities as u. neither do u love someone just because that someone loves u. love doesnt work that way. i have my own choices too. if u understand, good. if u dont, i can only say that u're not even mature enough for me to waste my breath on u. this is the last time i'm ever gonna respond to ur whatever stupid opinions.

okie
enough ranting
im just pmsy recently

on a lighter note,

ive been catching up with my school work :D
it's quite an achievement lar, considering the fact that ive not been listening during lessons for half a year, heh.

emily's hospitalised :hope she get well soon hmm

2.4 was quite a success (:

a word of advice: not to jump so hard when they tell u to practise ur standing broad jump. especially when it's only a few days away from the real thing. i cant even walk up the stairs properly now larr

hmm i think that's all le bahh
ive really been a good girl recently
just a bit ap sometimes
but most of the time im nice lor :D

oh yar, and 3D's becoming more &more adorable :D
we're a bunch of lame noisy funny poks :DDDD

&im not looking forward.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

11:32 PM

heh i love the way things are now
no one knows my blog! :D
i mean yes la there are pple who know la
but very few only (:

yes this's the way i want things to be
living in the small world of my own
&just like this forever (:

off to pia homework :D

Saturday, April 08, 2006

10:47 PM

what's there to keep to?

alot

what's there to follow?

alot

how important is it for others to look up to u?

very

isn't 'role modeling' the root of all good?

yes

i thought u have some different opinions?

no

are u sure?

yes

hahas, then i'll pass my interview with flying colours :D
but sadly i didnt answer that way la
went on and on to kaobei
together with jas :D
we kept shooting the school rules
then peiqi, who was interviewed together with us
was sorta left out aye
cos ms tan and mdm chan were too busy argueing with us
good that kwanling was there to remind them that 'hello, someone else here exists too'
then they went like 'oh yar, so what do u think?'

o.O

parade was okie
frankly it's getting more and more slack la
but ironically we're released later and later
&today we've got out NPDP tees
two for each! :D

oh well
i've gotta catch up with homework
or else should walk in heavy rain and get myself a high fever
then can pon school

or i should go and sleep now
like some pig suggested
always shooing me to bed :\

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

9:28 PM

not a good way to start something new
but we all have to learn that life is like that
when u wanna start all over again it just wont let u

so im back
for everyone else rather than myself
some pple are just so interested in other pple's lives

sec three camp was fun lar
camp leaders will know what i mean :D
sometimes it's much more fun to be a follower than a leader
jane is the best instructor in the world! :D
all those guailan cheers that went around the whole camp were from her
&our group is the best group ever!
aubrey me xinyue eunicegoh euniceyeap sharry linyan valerie shiangmin jinhwee chenghui elise natalie ningxin joseph stephen szekiat yankang zhihao jane! :D
we should have refused to part when they told us to go to our new groups

life's been in a mess eversince back from camp
homework all screwed up
sometimes i think what my mom says is true la
if u cant even manage ur own studies
what else can u handle?
forget about all those responsibilities and commitments &just buck up first

problem is
i cant

getting scolded by teachers is definately not a nice feeling
it never feels good to disappoint anyone
even if that person doesnt make a significance in ur life
or even if u say 'fuck la i cant be bothered okie'
which sometimes i do
it doesnt mean im not affected

that is the reason why i dont want anymore responsibilities
it's not because i think i cant do it
i just dont want
want to give up now
on all those that i can
&hang on to those that i cant

i just want to organise my life such that it's not like this
when have i become this messy?

i just wanna get a high fever now and leave all these rubbish behind
maybe u reali do think better when ur brain is hot up there
how should i make that happen?

and my sms is exploding again
whatthebloodyhell.